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Je sais pas vous, mais moi quand je fais les courses, c'est toujours la même routine.
I don't know about you, but when I go shopping it's always the same routine.
À chaque fois, je fais une petite liste de courses bien propre... que j'oublie.
Every time, I make a little clean shopping list... that I forget.
Je prends toujours le paquet au fond de la pile, histoire de gagner deux jours de péremption.
I always take the package at the bottom of the pile, just to win two days of expiry.
Il y a toujours ce mec planté pile-poil devant tu veux prendre un produit.
There is always this guy stuck right in front of where you want to take a product.
J'ai toujours envie de mettre le truc du caddie dans la fente comme si les inventeurs n'y avaient jamais pensé.
I always want to put the cart's thingie in the slot as if the inventors had never thought of it.
Je vois toujours quelqu'un que je connais, et je fais semblant de ne pas le connaître.
I always see someone I know, and I pretend I don't know him.
Et enfin, je prends toujours la queue la plus rapide... qui devient la moins rapide.
And finally, I always take the fastest line... which becomes the slowest.
Alors, je ne sais pas non plus comment vous vous comportez au magasin, mais moi, je pense que je ne suis pas toujours le client idéal.
So, I don't know how you behave at the store either, but I think I'm not always the ideal client.
Quand je fais tomber un produit et qu'il n'y a pas de témoins, ben je ne le ramasse pas.
When I drop a product and there are no witnesses, well I don't pick it.
J'aime bien reposer les produits au mauvais endroit.
I like putting products back in the wrong place.
J'essaye toujours de passer à la caisse "moins de 10 articles" avec 11.
I always try to go through the "up to 10 items" checkout with 11.
Parfois, je mange un produit avant de l'avoir payé... et je suis en stress comme si j'avais braqué une banque.
Sometimes I eat a product before having paid... and I'm in stress as if I had robbed a bank.
Et puis à la pesée, pour payer moins cher, j'ai toujours envie de mettre l'étiquette d'un autre produit.
And then at the weigh-in, in order to pay less, I always want to put another product's label.
"Vous êtes sûr que c'est des bananes, ça ?"
"Are you sure it's bananas?"
"Oui... c'est des bananes rondes... de La Réunion".
"Yes... it's round bananas... from the Reunion island".
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Subtitles: French
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Norman goes shopping


Source: NORMAN FAIT DES VIDÉOS, Youtube, 30 Jun 2017

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